Why is being single seen so negatively nowadays? Its like, when someone asks you if you’re in a relationship, you dread wanting to answer no or even change the subject.
I have friends who are so consumed by the thought of being single. They have so many great things happening in their life and somehow all they can think about is how they haven’t found love. Instead of feeling independently owned and operated, you feel alone and like you’re missing something. You feel like your life would be perfect if you just had that special someone to share it with. I’m not going to quote sayings on how being in a relationship means less drama, or less stress. But I’m also not going to say that being single is the best thing in the world, and everyone should stay that way. I have experienced both lives and both have their ups and downs. I have lived a single life more than not, and when I mean single, I mean not fully committed or exclusive to one person. Instead of focusing on this worldly idea of thinking this should even be a topic of constant discussion in your life, focus on these other 5 things. They are way more important anyways, and not even some people in relationships have learned to cope with these.
1. Discipline
Use your time wisely! Be disciplined in not only spiritual things, like prayer, meditation, reading of the word, but practical things as well, like spending everything you make, fitness and nutrition, how many people you’re sleeping with. These are some things you have full control of! Discipline is HARD, some never learn to hone in on it, so instead of wallowing in singlehood. Practice discipline.
2. Move on without closure.
Why do we feel we need closure for everything? Death, breakups, fights, eating a whole cake by yourself. Forgive and forget. Yes I said it, FORGET. Know that everything has a process from beginning to end. I’m not saying to forget your mother that passed away, I’m saying that realize closure is not something you wait for, it’s something you create on your own. It’s a choice. Don’t expect your ex to call you one day and let you know she/he made a mistake, choose to not need that phone call instead. Let go, forgive, and move on.
3. Learn from failed relationships
It’s easy to never allow wounds to heal, and jump straight into the next person. It’s easy to rehash relationships that didn’t make it. It’s easy to live in the past. At the end of the day, everything is a journey, and you have to make the choice of finding a lesson in everything. Don’t repeat the same problem twice. Recognize it, write it down, engrain it in your mind, and grow from it. Eventually, with God’s help, you can let it be.
4. Maturity
In my case, pray to grow up in the Lord. Pray that you live in accordance with God’s will, and that you do not live by your commands, but by his. I have many friends who don’t believe in God, so you might feel this doesn’t apply. But this applies to everyone. Whether you believe in choosing your own path or nothing at all; make the conscious decision to always move forward and up. Never hold doubt, fear, resentment, or envy in your heart. Be a person that outputs good energy, and makes people gravitate to your presence.
5. Singleness is not about preparation for marriage
Singleness is not about waiting in a line to get front row seats to a great marriage. Life still needs to happen, and will without your permission. Now is the time to make great shit happen.
“He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30